What a good mommy is made of... (confessions of a judgemental mom)

 (My mommy with myself and my baby brother the day he was born)

I'll admit I am insecure in my parenting. I often wonder where this issue came from, if it effects everyone? Or if I am just mental. Either way as a "surprise" parent, I often find myself asking WTF am I doing? I watch other mothers closely and scrutinize their every move. What do they do that makes them a GOOD mom? More prone to my gossipy side what makes them a BAD mom? Above all else where do I fall under my own lables if someone else where to use my own judgment on me?

 (My mommy and me)

I often find myself thinking omgosh! Formula? Forget about it! Solids before they can meet my guidelines? Why would you hurt your baby that way? Who the F give their kids pop?! Why would you let your kids stay up till 1 am?! Why not let your kids have some HFC (high fructose corn syrup) every now and then? Will your kids think you made good decisions for them? If you chose to eat all organic, will they resent you when they get to school and start making their own choices? If you let them do what ever the F they want, will you resent yourself when they have social issues? The list goes on and on.

(My mommy and me)

Its hard not to judge as if to compliment what a great job your doing as a parent. Cause NO one wants to admit that they are most likely fucking their kids lives no matter how great they think they are doing, you could give your kid every advantage and have them strung out on crack and turning tricks off Colfax, you could stay in a shitty relationship because you know no better, have your child grow up having no real assurance they are loved and they could become world leaders. Truth is as long as you try your best, you give the best. This day and age the options are endless when it comes to what kind of parent you will be. There is no right answer.

(My grandmother and me)

There is no way to avoid being judged for the choices you've made, some one will always find something to bitch about. Parenting is no joke, if it is its pretty fucked up. So to all the GOOD mommy's out there. Keep giving hugs and kisses because no matter if you served vegan meatloaf or McDonals for dinner the love behind it is all that counts.

(Me and My baby)

So my confession, I buy my child a hot wheel every time I go to the store. I wasn't sad when he self weaned at 1 year. I've let him have a drink or two of pop. I feed him poptarts when I'm lazy. Its currently 1:13am and he is playing rock band with his father. I gave up cloth diapering full time because I hate doing laundry. He has a nice collection of happy meal toys. But he has a family. He knows we love him. He is a happy boy, and he will with out question tell me I ruined his life in the next 20 years for one thing or another, and for tonight I'm ok with that. 

Alpaca Head!

I was going to meet my girlfriend for lunch at a local park the other day, Id never been there but she'd given me detailed directions and I fallowed them to the T. I walked around and around in circles and all I saw was this adorable alpaca. A few times I even thought I heard someone call my name, but Alpacas cant talk, can they? Finally I know I heard this alpaca call me a hooker and I realized that this Alpaca head was on a human body! Talk about a plastic surgery fail! My poor friend went to get a little hair transplantation done and while under general anesthesia the dr's got a little carried away! Poor dear. She is currently sueing for millions cross your fingers ya'll!

A day in the life of Zeke

Daddy's gone to work. Oh no!!

Arts and crafts time with mommy.

Tattoos by self and Uncle Brian.

Shower with mommy ruined by putting blue octopus down the drain.

Dinner: By John.

12pm Monday afternoon.
John: I'm hungry.
Me: Me too!
John: Enchiladas?
Me: That takes so much work, for dinner?


...
2 hours a bagel sandwich, chicken tenders and a party pizza later.......................

  6 hours, 3 bags of shredded cheese, a pot of home made sauce and 10 corn tortillas later. Both John and I enjoyed some bomb enchiladas while poor Zeke fell asleep early.

For Andie Pants!

Thanks for being my best friend Queen of random ;) I lovers you! <3- Elizabeast!

I have 4 teeth fear me!

At 17 months our little gout now has four teeth. While minding my own business today he did the hunch walk up to me and bit me on the arm!

It was a wake up call of sorts, something that's occurring more and more frequently. My little baby is growing up. No longer a chubby cheek Roley-poly shit machine (still a shit machine actually) but a little man. A little man who loves fruit, being naked, making potato heads, dancing, kitties and Shrek.

 So much personality in one little ball of energy. I love his grumpy face, I love his hunch walk (which I have yet to capture on camera coming soon!)

And talk about a daddy's boy. Omg! In the morning if daddy isn't up he will sit outside the door knocking politely. Singing daddy, daddy, daddy!

And man this kids got some moves. As I mentioned previous there is the hunch dance. But there is the pin wheel dance too. Which consists of him spinning right round like a record baby right round. In circles faster and faster till the floor suddenly is vertical and he is laying there giggling like a fool. 

 And last but not least in any way is the way he loves his mommy. I never knew love could be like this. His face lights up every time he sees me. Even if its just that Ive come out of the bathroom. In the morning he is cuddle bug extraordinaire. He gives me a hug every time he walks by me and sings me songs and pats me on the back when I pick him up. How can my baby grow up? Is there any way to save him? Now the worst thing that happens to him is he got water when he demanded juice. Or a kitty ran away from him when he wanted to pet her. I can't imagine a world where his friends are his life and if that pretty girl knows he exist. Where mom and dad are baffons who couldn't possibly know what was going on in his misunderstood life. And even in moments of loneliness where he wishes he could sit on my lap and have me tell him its going to be ok, he wont. How do I stop that from happening? I don't want to lose my baby. Every tear so trial now, I savor it. His little angry face is so adorable. Oh my little gout, My baby. Will you ever know how much mommy loves you? Will you be well in to adult hood before you understand? I pray not. Zeke Bradley Phil your my life.

   

Consider this the spill.

I always find myself handicapped to make that first mark. No matter a doodle, a novel, a grocery list, or a master piece. I'm never sure where to start. Now I sit here having erased all my writings for the last hour or so. Googling other blogs attempting something worth reading form the outside world. So world here is my spill of paint upon the canvas of a bloggers' life. Yet another chapter in the world of Liz, only perhaps this one will live to tell a tale? Here's to the new and the old and the tales that go untold... for now.