Tuesday, November 9, 2010

What a good mommy is made of... (confessions of a judgemental mom)

 (My mommy with myself and my baby brother the day he was born)

I'll admit I am insecure in my parenting. I often wonder where this issue came from, if it effects everyone? Or if I am just mental. Either way as a "surprise" parent, I often find myself asking WTF am I doing? I watch other mothers closely and scrutinize their every move. What do they do that makes them a GOOD mom? More prone to my gossipy side what makes them a BAD mom? Above all else where do I fall under my own lables if someone else where to use my own judgment on me?

 (My mommy and me)

I often find myself thinking omgosh! Formula? Forget about it! Solids before they can meet my guidelines? Why would you hurt your baby that way? Who the F give their kids pop?! Why would you let your kids stay up till 1 am?! Why not let your kids have some HFC (high fructose corn syrup) every now and then? Will your kids think you made good decisions for them? If you chose to eat all organic, will they resent you when they get to school and start making their own choices? If you let them do what ever the F they want, will you resent yourself when they have social issues? The list goes on and on.

(My mommy and me)

Its hard not to judge as if to compliment what a great job your doing as a parent. Cause NO one wants to admit that they are most likely fucking their kids lives no matter how great they think they are doing, you could give your kid every advantage and have them strung out on crack and turning tricks off Colfax, you could stay in a shitty relationship because you know no better, have your child grow up having no real assurance they are loved and they could become world leaders. Truth is as long as you try your best, you give the best. This day and age the options are endless when it comes to what kind of parent you will be. There is no right answer.

(My grandmother and me)

There is no way to avoid being judged for the choices you've made, some one will always find something to bitch about. Parenting is no joke, if it is its pretty fucked up. So to all the GOOD mommy's out there. Keep giving hugs and kisses because no matter if you served vegan meatloaf or McDonals for dinner the love behind it is all that counts.

(Me and My baby)

So my confession, I buy my child a hot wheel every time I go to the store. I wasn't sad when he self weaned at 1 year. I've let him have a drink or two of pop. I feed him poptarts when I'm lazy. Its currently 1:13am and he is playing rock band with his father. I gave up cloth diapering full time because I hate doing laundry. He has a nice collection of happy meal toys. But he has a family. He knows we love him. He is a happy boy, and he will with out question tell me I ruined his life in the next 20 years for one thing or another, and for tonight I'm ok with that.